The Vampire Diaries: Quotes Klaus
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4×09 – O Come, All Ye Faithful
Stefan: “Looks like a giant snowflake.”
Klaus: “I prefer to think of it as an expression of post-modernism. It’s my donation to the winter wonderland charity event.”
Adrian: “You said it was urgent?”
Klaus: “Yes. Take this to the mystic grill immediately.”
Adrian: “You want me to be a delivery guy?”
Klaus: “What I want is for you to do whatever I say, without the attitude. Be careful with that. It’s still wet.”
Stefan: “Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, you know.”
Klaus: “What is the point of my hybrids being sired to me if I can’t maximize on the benefits of free labor? What are you doing here?”
Stefan: “Elena is sired to Damon.”
Klaus: “I intuited as much.”
Stefan: “Which means I need to find the cure now more than ever, and here you are making post-modern snowflakes.”
Klaus: “I’ve delivered. I retrieved the hunter’s sword from Italy, which we’ll use to decipher the map hidden in the hunter’s mark. You’re the one who’s supposed to deliver the hunter and his mark.”
Stefan: “Well, Jeremy is the hunter, and he has to keep killing vampires to complete his mark, but we can’t quite figure out how to keep him from killing us.”
Klaus: “Sounds like quite the chore, which is why I feel perfectly justified in doing a little charity work.”
Stefan: “Or maybe you’re lying about having found the sword.”
Klaus: Why would I lie to you, Stefan? We’re in this together. The hilt acts as a cypher which we’ll use to decode the marks on Jeremy’s tattoo when he’s killed enough vampires to complete it. I heard you moved out of your house. Bit of a martyr move, hmm?”
Stefan: “I’m not here to bond, Klaus.”
Klaus: “Oh, on the contrary, I think right now I’m the best friend you’ve got.”Caroline: “Here to steal tiny Tim’s crutches?”
Klaus: “Dickens was a dark man. Klaus: You would have liked him.”
Caroline: “Nice snowflake, by the way.”
Klaus: “Is my work really that literal?”
Caroline: “I’m serious. There’s something… Lonely about it.”
Klaus: “I’m gonna take that as a compliment. Can I offer you some champagne?”
Caroline: “Can’t. Too many adult prying eyes. Don’t want to be a high-school cautionary tale at the next town meeting.”
Klaus: “Well, then, it’s a good thing the high-school part is nearly over.”
Caroline: “If we’re gonna be nice to each other, then I will need that glass of champagne.”
Klaus: “Is that our thing?”
Caroline: “We don’t have a “thing.”
Klaus: “Allow me.”Klaus: “She doesn’t like me much. Where have you been all day?”
Stefan: “I’ve been around.”
Klaus: “I’m not interested in vagaries, Stefan. You’ve been dodgy and Caroline’s been lovely, which I’ve come to recognize as a tool of distraction. Now do you have something to share with me, or should I compel it out of you?”
Stefan: “I broke into your safe to look for the sword.”
Klaus: “Why?”
Stefan: “Because I don’t trust you.”
Klaus: “I showed you the sword. I explained its value. I’ve been on your side the entire time. What do you want from me… A secret brotherhood handshake?”
Stefan: “I found the letters. You have a few pen pals over the centuries?”
Klaus: “Well, is keeping my victims’ letters really so different from writing their names on a wall, like you did, ripper? Loneliness, Stefan. That’s why you and I memorialize our dead. There’s the briefest of moments before we kill where we literally hold their life in our hands, and then we rip it away, and we’re left with nothing. So gathering other people’s letters or writing their names on a wall… It’s a reminder… That in the end we’re left infinitely and utterly alone.”Klaus: “Good evening, Carol. If you’re looking for Tyler, I’d like a little word with him myself.”
Carol: “Klaus, please. Don’t hurt him. He’s my son. He’s all I have.”
Klaus: “And you’re all he has. There’s a beautiful symmetry to that, don’t you think?”
Klaus: “In what world do the words “tell no one” mean “tell your brother and every teenage sycophant in town”?”
Stefan: “The secret’s safe. No one who knows about the cure would endanger us. Trust me. You know I want to find it more than anyone else.”
Klaus: “Well, then I suggest you find some vampires for Jeremy to kill before I’m tempted to offer you up as a victim. And try to keep this one to yourself, would you?”Klaus: “Now, how did I know I’d find you at the helm of this ship?”
Caroline: “Go away. I’m busy.”
Klaus: “I was wondering what time I should pick you up tomorrow.”
Caroline: “How about a quarter to never.”
Klaus: “I was promised a date in return for one of my hybrids.”
Caroline: “Yes, a date, like to a movie, where we don’t have to talk and I can put at least 3 seats between us.”
Klaus: “Surely the reigning miss Mystic Falls won’t be hosting the party alone. And I assume you’re not taking Tyler… not after his indiscretions with his lady werewolf friend.”
Caroline: “Fine. If you insist on coming, meet me here, 2 P.M. black tie optional. And I already have a dress, so don’t even think of getting me so much as a corsage. You understand?”
Klaus: “I’ll see you tomorrow, Caroline.”Klaus: “And how am I doing?”
Caroline: “You’re… Perfect. Just so beyond annoying, I can’t even look at you.”
Klaus: “They didn’t waste any time, did they?”
Caroline: “Let’s just get today over with.”Caroline [to Elena]: “Fine. Friend-tervention. I think your so-called feelings for Damon are really starting to cloud your judgment, and I don’t like it, and the thought of you two together really makes me want to barf.”
Klaus: “Easy, love. You’re making a scene.”
Elena: “Wow. Caroline, thank you for making this very difficult time so much easier.”
Caroline: “How did I become the bad guy?”
Klaus: “Let’s get you a drink. I’ll tell you all about being the bad guy.”Caroline: “It’s just, as her best friend, it is my duty to warn her when she’s making a giant mistake, right? And now she’s taking Damon’s side on everything.”
Klaus: “So being a vampire has changed her.”
Caroline: “But being a vampire only amplifies who you already are. It doesn’t turn you into a completely different person.”
Klaus: “Very peculiar.”
Caroline: “What’s that look for?”
Klaus: “It’ll all make sense eventually.”
Caroline: “Whatever. Just hurry up and find the cure.”
Klaus: “I’m working on it.”
Caroline: “Would you ever take it?”
Klaus: “Now, why would I want to cure myself of being the most powerful creature on the planet, hmm?”
Caroline: “So there’s not one single moment in your whole life that you wanted to be human.”
Klaus: “How about you?”Klaus: “Life used to be a lot easier. Don’t you miss the days of being… “Chair of the Mystic Falls beautification committee” and the “director of the policemen’s yearly raffle”?”
Caroline: “Is that my miss mystic application? Where did you get that?”
Klaus: “”When I am chosen, I intend to redefine excellence”… Now, I’m really enjoying your use of “when” here. It’s very confident.”
Caroline: “Mm-hmm.”
Klaus: “”And above all, I promise to aspire, inspire, and perspire.” Obviously, we found a shortage of words ending in “spire.”"
Caroline: “Yeah. It’s very funny. It’s hilarious. Just…”“I never answered your question, if I’d ever thought about being human. Once. I was on a trek in the Andes, and a hummingbird flew up to me and just hovered there staring at me. Its tiny heart was pattering like a machine gun… And I thought, what a thing, you know, to have to work that hard every day just to stay alive, to be constantly on the verge of death, and how satisfying every day must be that it survived… And that was the only time I thought about being human.”
4×06 – We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes
“Caroline. By the break-up drama unfolding before me, I assume you’ve met Haley.”
Stefan: “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Klaus: “Well, I can’t imagine why, what with you ruining all my plans for a hybrid-filled future.”
Stefan: “Well, it wouldn’t happened if you hadn’t sworn me to secrecy.”
Klaus: “Life’s full of ifs, Stefan. Let’s extenuate the positives, shall we? The hunter was one of five. We’ll find another. It may take centuries, but we’ve got nothing but time, right?”
Stefan: “You’re using your calm voice today. Who’s getting killed?”
Klaus: “Not you, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I am concerned about your beloved. Have the hallucinations started yet?”
Stefan: “What do you know about that?”
Klaus: “I’ll tell you. Where you are?”
Stefan: “I’m at her house.”
Klaus: “How convenient. So am I.”Klaus: “You know, this would all be a lot more civilized if I was just invited inside.”
Stefan: “Bad enough I’m out here talking to you.”Stefan: “What do you know?”
Klaus: “I killed the Original five hunters, remember? When one kills a hunter, there’s a bit of a consequence.”
Stefan: “What kind of consequence?”
Klaus: “Hunters were spelled by witches to kill vampires. If you prevent one from fulfilling his destiny, then he’ll take you down with him.”
Stefan: “What do you mean? Connor’s dead.”
Klaus: “I mean, Connor’s death won’t prevent him from making Elena his final vampire kill. She’ll need to come with me now. I’ll lock her up; keep her away from any sharp, wooden objects.”
Stefan: “She’s not going anywhere with you.”
Klaus: “But if we leave her alone, she’ll take her own life before the day is out.”
Stefan: “She’s stronger than that.”
Klaus: “Is she? Believe me, it’s for her own good.”Klaus: “I apologize for the lack of windows. It’s to preserve the art. And, of course, to prevent you from taking off your daylight ring and burning yourself to death in the sun.”
Elena: “I’m not going to kill myself. I would never do that.”
Klaus: “Oh, but you’ll want to. I did. Problem is, I’m immortal.”
Elena: “You went through this?”
Klaus: “Yes, I did. For 52 years, four months and nine days. I was tormented… In my dreams. My every waking moment. Relentless, never-ending torture. It was the only period of my life when I actually felt time.”Klaus: “Caroline. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Caroline: “I want you to give Elena back.”
Klaus: “Ahh. They sent you to sweet talk me. Well, good form, but I’m afraid I can’t do it.”
Caroline: “Why not?”
Klaus: “She needs my help. Look, I’m not going to burden you with the gory details. I know you have enough on your plate already.”
Caroline: “That’s none of your business, actually.”
Klaus: “Yes, well, just know that if Tyler was still sired to me, he never would have hurt you. I wouldn’t have let him.”Caroline: “So here’s the thing. I didn’t just come here to try to get you to release Elena.”
Klaus: “You don’t say.”
Caroline: “I came here to distract you so that Stefan could go to your house and break her out, which he did. And don’t get mad, but then he lost her. Klaus!”
Klaus: “Caroline. You’re beautiful, but if you don’t stop talking, I will kill you.”Hayley: “No one has to die!”
Klaus: “Did I not say mind your business?!”
Hayley: “Tyler’s covering for me. I’m the one that let her go.”
Tyler: “Hayley…”
Hayley: “No. You want someone dead, go ahead. Kill me. I’d rather die anyway then end up as one of your sired little bitches.”
Klaus: “Don’t tempt me, little wolf.”
“Caroline. By the break-up drama unfolding before me, I assume you’ve met Haley.”
Stefan: “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Klaus: “Well, I can’t imagine why, what with you ruining all my plans for a hybrid-filled future.”
Stefan: “Well, it wouldn’t happened if you hadn’t sworn me to secrecy.”
Klaus: “Life’s full of ifs, Stefan. Let’s extenuate the positives, shall we? The hunter was one of five. We’ll find another. It may take centuries, but we’ve got nothing but time, right?”
Stefan: “You’re using your calm voice today. Who’s getting killed?”
Klaus: “Not you, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I am concerned about your beloved. Have the hallucinations started yet?”
Stefan: “What do you know about that?”
Klaus: “I’ll tell you. Where you are?”
Stefan: “I’m at her house.”
Klaus: “How convenient. So am I.”Klaus: “You know, this would all be a lot more civilized if I was just invited inside.”
Stefan: “Bad enough I’m out here talking to you.”Stefan: “What do you know?”
Klaus: “I killed the Original five hunters, remember? When one kills a hunter, there’s a bit of a consequence.”
Stefan: “What kind of consequence?”
Klaus: “Hunters were spelled by witches to kill vampires. If you prevent one from fulfilling his destiny, then he’ll take you down with him.”
Stefan: “What do you mean? Connor’s dead.”
Klaus: “I mean, Connor’s death won’t prevent him from making Elena his final vampire kill. She’ll need to come with me now. I’ll lock her up; keep her away from any sharp, wooden objects.”
Stefan: “She’s not going anywhere with you.”
Klaus: “But if we leave her alone, she’ll take her own life before the day is out.”
Stefan: “She’s stronger than that.”
Klaus: “Is she? Believe me, it’s for her own good.”Klaus: “I apologize for the lack of windows. It’s to preserve the art. And, of course, to prevent you from taking off your daylight ring and burning yourself to death in the sun.”
Elena: “I’m not going to kill myself. I would never do that.”
Klaus: “Oh, but you’ll want to. I did. Problem is, I’m immortal.”
Elena: “You went through this?”
Klaus: “Yes, I did. For 52 years, four months and nine days. I was tormented… In my dreams. My every waking moment. Relentless, never-ending torture. It was the only period of my life when I actually felt time.”Klaus: “Caroline. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Caroline: “I want you to give Elena back.”
Klaus: “Ahh. They sent you to sweet talk me. Well, good form, but I’m afraid I can’t do it.”
Caroline: “Why not?”
Klaus: “She needs my help. Look, I’m not going to burden you with the gory details. I know you have enough on your plate already.”
Caroline: “That’s none of your business, actually.”
Klaus: “Yes, well, just know that if Tyler was still sired to me, he never would have hurt you. I wouldn’t have let him.”Caroline: “So here’s the thing. I didn’t just come here to try to get you to release Elena.”
Klaus: “You don’t say.”
Caroline: “I came here to distract you so that Stefan could go to your house and break her out, which he did. And don’t get mad, but then he lost her. Klaus!”
Klaus: “Caroline. You’re beautiful, but if you don’t stop talking, I will kill you.”Hayley: “No one has to die!”
Klaus: “Did I not say mind your business?!”
Hayley: “Tyler’s covering for me. I’m the one that let her go.”
Tyler: “Hayley…”
Hayley: “No. You want someone dead, go ahead. Kill me. I’d rather die anyway then end up as one of your sired little bitches.”
Klaus: “Don’t tempt me, little wolf.”
Stefan: “How the hell did Connor escape?”
Klaus: “I blame mind-numbing incompetence, but pointing fingers isn’t going to help me. You’re going to help me.”
Stefan: “Well, he could be anywhere now.”
Klaus: “Think, Stefan. He took the hybrid’s head, which means he wants werewolf toxin. Which means he plans to stay in Mystic Falls to kill vampires. Which is a pity. Me being on the other side of the world digging up a dead hunter, you’ll have no access to my blood. And therefore the antidote. Nevertheless, his tattoo is our only map to the cure, so your task is quite simple. Find him, catch him, and above all, keep him alive. He’s no good to us dead.”
Stefan: “Damon’s been looking everywhere for him. If they cross paths…”
Klaus: “You need to keep Damon in check.”
Stefan: “It would be a lot easier if I could just tell him the truth.”
Klaus: “You trust Damon with the cure? I imagine he prefers Elena the way she is.”
Stefan: ” Nice try, Klaus, but I trust Damon a hell of a lot more than I trust you.”
Klaus: “And I trust no one. Which is why my sister is lying daggered in a box. The more who find out about the cure, the more will go after it. Nations have gone to war over less. You mark my words… tell one soul and I will throw the hunter’s sword in the Mediterranean and we can end this quest right now. Am I understood?”“You expect me to care about bloody hostages?”
Klaus: “Tyler. I hope you’re not causing problems.”
Tyler: “I can do whatever I want. I’m not sired to you anymore.”
Klaus: “Fair enough. Though I do happen to know your little secret about your time in Appalachia. What was your friend’s name? Haley, was it? You’d probably prefer I kept that to myself. I’m sorry, mate. Are you going to answer or should I just assume you’re back to being… How did you phrase it? Oh, yes. My little bitch.”
Klaus: “You’re trying too hard.”
Rebekah: “Last I heard, you were leaving town… forever.”
Klaus: “Well, I was. But then I thought to myself, how can I when my sister, clearly so desperate for love and affection, is left here… Bribing the help.”
Rebekah: “What do you want, Nik? I thought I was dead to you.”
Klaus: “Things change, Rebekah. I’ve stumbled upon something I think might be of interest to you.”
Rebekah: “Doubt that.”
Klaus: “No? Well, what if I told you the brotherhood of the five still existed?”
Rebekah: “What?”
Klaus: “You see? And like that, bygones. Come on, love. Work to do.”
Rebekah: “We don’t have anything to do. There is no “we”. I don’t care about the five, and I don’t care about you.”
Klaus: As you wish.”Klaus: “Looks like I’ll have to beef up the hybrid security detail.”
Stefan: “I was going to take him, but I figured you went through such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain.”
Klaus: “It’s from the inquisition. I thought it was a nice touch.”Klaus: “You’re full of mysteries, aren’t you?”
Connor: “I told you, I don’t know anything.”
Klaus: “Thankfully, I know plenty.”Klaus: “So what’s with the home invasion?”
Stefan: “Damon said you knew something about this guy. I should have figured you were up to something when you healed Elena from the werewolf poison without asking for anything in return.”
Klaus: “I was feeling benevolent.”
Stefan: “You’re never benevolent.”“The brotherhood of the five was a group of highly skilled vampire hunters. We crossed paths with them in the twelfth century. Italy. My siblings and I had followed the normans as they conquered the South. Feeding, turning people as we went. But with the bloodshed came exposure.”
Elijah: “He’s putting on quite the show.”
Klaus: “He’s nothing. I could eat him for sport.”
Elijah: “Still, you should heed the warning. Between you here and Kol in the east, you have not been discreet. Stories of the original vampires are spreading.”
Klaus: “I welcome such infamy.”Stefan: “So these hunters have been around for 900 years?”
Klaus: “Apparently. Well, our friend in the other room is the first I’ve seen since then. Kind of makes you wonder what they’ve been up to all these years.”
Stefan: “And Rebekah had a thing with one of them?”
Klaus: “Oh, she didn’t just have a thing. She fell in love with him. He told her all his secrets. Which I will gladly share with you… Provided you do one thing for me.”
Stefan: “And what’s that?”
Klaus: “Get Rebekah over here. She’s being stubborn. And hateful. I need to make peace with her. I want her to give me some very important information about the hunter, which she won’t do unless she believes we’ve made up.”
Stefan: “And… What’s in it for me?”
Klaus: “Just get her here and I’ll tell you. Oh, and Stefan… Trust me when I say this… that hunter in there holds the answer to all your prayers.”“I could kiss the council for burning up all the vervain in town. They made my life so much easier.”
Klaus: “Rebekah, love, eat your veggies.”
Rebekah: “I’m not eating till you apologize.”
Klaus: “For which indiscretion? There have been so many.”
Rebekah: “You broke my neck.”
Klaus: “You threw away Elena’s blood so I can’t make any more hybrids.”
Rebekah: “‘Cause you took me for granted!”
Klaus: “That’s what big brothers do, sweetheart!”
Stefan: “Let me just name the million other people I’d rather be having dinner with right now.”
Klaus: “All right, fine. I’m sorry. I often forget how delicate you are. Forgive me?”
Rebekah: “I’ll take it under consideration.”Stefan: “Now, why don’t you tell me about Rebekah’s hunter?”
Klaus: “Right. Alexander. Nice chap, forgoing the obvious issues. He was looking for creatures of the night, which is why we felt quite safe around him wearing our daylight rings.”Stefan: “So, that’s what this is about? A weapon?”
Rebekah: “Not just any weapon.”
Klaus: “Rebekah, love, don’t get ahead of the story.”
Stefan: “How is a weapon the answer to all of my prayers? Ok. Why don’t we just skip with the theatrics and get right to the point?”
Klaus: “Not quite yet. Because in order to find this weapon, we need to solve the puzzle, which seems to have disappeared.”
Stefan: “What puzzle? The tattoo. What is it?”
Klaus: “A map. Leading us to its treasure.”
Rebekah: “Fat lot of good a tattoo’s going to do if we can’t see it.”
Klaus: “We can’t, but someone else can.”Stefan: “So tell me more about this tattoo.”
Klaus: “My sister’s suitor was unwilling to tell us anything. Rebekah, however, was more than willingto… investigate, isn’t that right?”Klaus: “My sister’s boyfriend threw a slumber party that night. He and his brothers put us all down in our sleep. Elijah, Kol, Finn… And me.”
Rebekah: “How was I supposed to know?”
Klaus: “Cheers. To my sister’s uncanny ability to choose men.”Rebekah: “What happened?”
Klaus: “Ask him. Only, he cannot answer because I have ripped out his tongue, along with the rest of them.”
Rebekah: “Nik, I had no idea!”
Klaus: “But you should have. Your only family was nearly wiped out because of your stupidity! What did he promise you?”
Rebekah: “Nothing. Nothing.”
Klaus: “He would not have made a move unless he knew you were vulnerable. You trusted him… Over me! What did he promise you?”
Rebekah: “Nothing, Nik, I swear!”
Klaus: “What did he promise you?! Tell me, Rebekah!”Klaus: “Go ahead, Rebekah, tell him. Tell him what the hunter told you the tattoo leads to. What’s this great weapon that could bring about the end of the vampire species?”
Rebekah: “A cure. He said there was a cure.”Stefan: “There is no cure for vampirism.”
Rebekah: “I’m telling the truth, Stefan.”
Stefan: “Then why wouldn’t you have searched for it, found it?”
Klaus: “Because when the hunters drew their final breath that night, the marks disappeared from their body. The map was gone, the brotherhood of the five extinct. For 900 years, there was not a whisper of another hunter until our friend in there showed up in town.”
Rebekah: Well, now we have the map, what do we do next?”
Klaus: “We don’t do anything. You can’t be trusted, little sister. You’ll be blabbing this secret to the first boy who calls you pretty. I mean, it’s pathetic, really, isn’t it? How she continues to hand her heart to any man who shows her a hint of affection. You think she would have learned by now from the endless cycle of disappointment and deception!”
Rebekah: “But I haven’t! Instead I stay with you and let you leech every moment of happiness from my life. You know, at least I faired better than Finn. Klaus left him daggered because he was tired of his judgment.”
Klaus: “No, Finn was a dullard. He’s more interesting lying in a box.”
Rebekah: “You want the cure for Elena, don’t you? So you can go back to mass producing your hybrids. That’s why you brought Stefan in, ’cause you knew he’d help you even though he hates your guts. You know what, you can shove your cure.”[To Stefan] “You have a chance to save Elena from the very thing that’s going to destroy her. You can call it a deal with the devil if you like. But you know you won’t walk away from it.”
Klaus: “I’m sorry, little sister, but you’re right. You really are a hopeless fool.”
Rebekah: “Go right ahead. Laugh at the girl who loved too easily. Well, I would rather have lived my life than yours, Nick. No one will ever sit around the table telling stories about a man who couldn’t love. Do it. Look me in the eye and do it, you coward! Do it!”Klaus: “No one must know about the cure, do you understand? Not Damon, not Elena. Nobody. If this gets out, it could mean all our deaths. So if you tell anyone, I’ll erase each and every memory from all of you.”
Stefan: “I won’t say anything.”
Klaus: “It’s just you and me in this, Stefan. Some secrets are stronger than family.”
Klaus: “I was halfway to Chicago when I heard you were attacked. I had hoped to leave Mystic Falls for good, but duty calls.”
Tyler: “Nice to know you care.”
Klaus: “I don’t. I should have killed you for the little stunt you and your friends pulled… stopping my heart, leaving me in a coffin to rot.”
Tyler: “Yeah, well, you used my body as an escape hatch, then kissed my girlfriend, so maybe we’re even.”
Klaus: “Not even close. But you hybrids are a dying breed. I can’t make more of you, and I won’t have anyone taking liberties with the ones I have left.”Klaus: “You’re a new face.”
Hayley: “And I take it from your accent you’re an old one. Klaus.”
Klaus: “My reputation precedes me, hopefully not all bad.”
Hayley: “A little bad, mostly repulsive.”Klaus: “She’s quite fetching, that Hayley.”
Tyler: “Where is she?”
Klaus: “Oh, she had to run, but don’t worry. I had her take the back door so Caroline wouldn’t see.”
Tyler: “Whatever you think you know…”
Klaus: “I don’t know anything, but I’ve put together a pretty convincing picture. Why don’t you tell me where my imagination deviates from reality? You went off to the Appalachians to break my sire bond. There, you met a pack of werewolves, begged them for help. Among them was a girl. She was gorgeous, with the same animal instincts as you. Emotions ran high. Inhibitions ran low.”
Tyler: “Stop it.”
Klaus: “Then, in a moment of weakness, the thick sexual tension became something much more real.”
Tyler: “I said stop!”
Klaus: “And Caroline has no idea.”Connor: “You two are gonna kill me anyway.”
Klaus: “Well, let’s not be too hasty. I feel like we’re just getting to know each other.”Damon: “Maybe you can cue me in on this greater evil, because I’ve fought this guy, and there’s nothing more evil than that.”
Klaus: “Yeah, truth be told, I’m as evil as it gets.”[To Connor] “There’s more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?”
Stefan: “You came.”
Klaus: “I did. And for future reference, one voice-mail is just as effective as 9.”Klaus: “What’s wrong, love?”
Stefan: “She has werewolf venom in her system. You know you’re the only one that can heal her, Klaus. Please.”
Klaus: “And what would you have done if I were no longer here? Hmm? If you and your friends had succeeded in ridding the world of me? Let’s play that game for a moment, shall we?”
Stefan: “Whatever you want from me…”
Klaus: “I don’t want anything from you. Her, on the other hand… If you had told me a few hours ago, I wouldn’t have cared a lick about her dying. But as it turns out… You may be of use to me after all.”Connor: “You saved me?”
Klaus: “Congratulations. You just became worth more to me alive than dead.”
Connor: “What… what did you mean when you said I was one of the five?”
Klaus: “You don’t know your own history? Well, let’s just say it’s made you the most well protected vampire hunter in town.”
Bonnie: “I have to help Elena before she has to feed.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “Elena’s dead and no longer my concern.”
Bonnie: “You’re forgetting who just saved your life.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “You’re forgetting I can rip your tongue out!”Mayor Lockwood “You didn’t answer your phone, honey. I was so scared that you were with Caroline.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “Why? What happened to Caroline?”
Mayor Lockwood “The council took her.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “What do you mean, they took her?”Caroline: “Tyler?”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “I’m harder to kill than you think.”
Caroline: “You’re alive?! Tyler, you’re alive!”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “No time. Come on. We have to go.”
Rebekah: “Wait, what about me?”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “Keep ‘em busy, little sister.”Caroline: “I never thought I’d see you again! I don’t get it. How are you alive?”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “This is going to sound incredible, but… Easy, love. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong equipment.”
Caroline: “You’re miraculously alive. We’re fugitives on the run. All signs point to hot hybrid vampire sex. Did you just call me “love”?”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “I don’t know, love. Did I?”
Caroline: “What the hell did you do to Tyler?”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “That’s what I enjoy about you. So much more than a pretty face.”
Caroline: “Oh, my God. You’re Klaus! You’re disgusting!”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “And you’re a glorious kisser. Listen… I didn’t have to risk exposure to come save you.”
Caroline: “Oh, you do one semi-decent thing and now you’re my hero? Ugh! I need to go sanitize your mouth.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “Your mouth was all over me. I was an innocent victim.”
Caroline: “Put Tyler back.”
Klaus [as Tyler]: “Gladly. Then maybe I’ll take you up on your offer of hot hybrid sex.”Rebekah: “How dare you save Caroline over me!”
Klaus: “”Hello, brother, I thought you were dead. So pleased you’re not.”"
Rebekah: “You left me.”
Klaus: “I only had time to save one of you and you can’t be killed. Rest assured, I had a worse day than you. I think it’s time for us to move on, find some more werewolves.”
Rebekah: “So you can create your hybrid family? You don’t know anything about family!”
Klaus: “Well, I know how easily they can be silenced with a dagger. No! Drop them.”
Rebekah: “I mourned you! My heart broke thinking I’d never see you again!”
Klaus: “Put the blood down, Rebekah, there’s a good girl.”
Rebekah: “It’s always been me! Not Finn. Not Elijah, not Kol, me. I loved you through everything and you don’t even care.”
Klaus: “Drop it!”
Rebekah: “You want your family? Here’s your family.”
Klaus: “You know something, Rebekah, you were right. I don’t care. From this moment on, you’re not my family, you’re not my sister. You are nothing.”
Rebekah: “Alaric Saltzman just tried to kill me.”
Klaus: “Alaric Saltzman is supposed to be dead.”
Rebekah: “Well, he’s not! And he’s a vampire thanks to mother’s spell. With a white oak stake that can’t kill him. He’s stronger, Nick. Too strong.”
Klaus: “Where is he now?”
Rebekah: “He’s stuck at the school without a daylight ring, but as soon as night falls, he’ll come after us. We need to leave now.”
Klaus: “Fine. I’ll collect Elena and we’ll be on our way.”
Rebekah: “Forget Elena! You don’t need any more stupid hybrids!”
Klaus: “What I need is protection from Esther’s continued assaults against us.”
Rebekah: “We’ll protect each other, like we always have. Always and forever, Nik.”
Klaus: “I’m not leaving without her.”
Rebekah: “I’m leaving now. You can either walk out that door with me or you are on your own. Fine. Trust your hybrids over your family. Let your spite be the death of you. See if I care.”Jeremy: “What the hell do you want?”
Klaus: “Now is that any way to treat a guest?”
Stefan: “What are you doing here, Klaus?”
Klaus: “Well, for starters, young Jeremy here could show some manners and invite me inside.”
Stefan: “Why don’t you go up to your room. Now.”
Klaus: “Hmm. Poor lad. Loses one questionable father figure only to be replaced by the likes of the two of you.”
Damon: “Yeah, about that. Something happened.”
Klaus: “Oh, I know all about my mother’s invulnerable little creation. That’s why I’m here. I’m leaving town. I just need to pick up a few road trip necessities. Spare tire, flashlight… Doppelganger.”Klaus: “Think you’re probably going to want to let me in.”
…
Stefan: “Put it out.”
Klaus: “Come outside and make me.”
Stefan: “Elena’s not here. Alaric has her and Caroline. He’s going to kill them both unless you turn yourself over to him.”
Klaus: “Now I know you’re not asking me to walk into a certain death.”
Stefan: “I really wish we could. But unfortunately, if Alaric kills you, there’s a one in four chance that we die, too.”
Damon: “I’ll take those odds.”
Stefan: “And a hundred percent chance that Tyler dies.”
Damon: “I’m good with that, too.”
Stefan: “Why don’t we just figure out a way to put Alaric down, hmm?”Klaus: “OK. How about Damon sneaks in and distracts Alaric while Stefan grabs Elena and carries her to safety.”
Damon: “Oh, that’s a great idea. What’s to stop me from being killed instantly?”
Klaus: “Nothing.”[To Bonnie] “If and might. Your words inspire such confidence.”
“Just so we’re clear, the sun sets in about eight hours. We don’t succeed before then, Elena will be dead, I’ll be gone, and the rest of you will be left to fend for yourselves.”
Stefan: “Abby just showed up.”
Klaus: “Good. Perhaps this plan won’t be an epic failure after all. You know, if this does go off and we drop the history teacher in the Atlantic, I’m still leaving with Elena.”
Stefan: “I’ll go with you.”
Klaus: “Really? What’s the catch?”
Stefan: “There’s no catch. I turn my back on everything here to make sure Elena’s safe.”
Klaus: “And that is what makes you her better option. It’s a shame it’s not easier for Elena to see that. I mean, personally, I think she’s wasting her time with Damon.”
Stefan: “You know, all this time and energy you spend trying to get me and my brother to hate each other… It’s actually had the opposite effect.”
Klaus: “Has it? Has it really? Well, then perhaps I should let Elena decide which Salvatore joins us. I mean, if you and Damon are so close.”
Stefan: “Ah, go for it. Damon and I have been through a hell of a lot worse than you.”Klaus: “Before we all walk through these doors, let’s get on the same page, shall we? I was the one who created your vampire bloodline, therefore I am responsible for your lives. And Tyler’s life, Caroline’s life, and, of course, Abby’s life. Should anything go wrong.”
Damon: “Or you’re just lying to save your ass.”
Klaus: “I’m not lying. Go ahead, call my bluff. Let the teacher kill me. You’ll all be dead soon thereafter.”Klaus: “It’s OK, it’s OK. It’s me. It’s OK. You’re safe. We’ll save Elena. You go straight home, you stay inside, you understand? Do you understand me?”
Caroline: “Thank you.”Elena: “What are you doing?”
Klaus: “Draining you of all your blood.”
Tyler: “Elena?”
Elena: “Tyler! Help me!”
Klaus: “He can’t. He needs to go fetch me more empty blood bags. About three liters worth, please, Tyler.”
Elena: “Tyler, please… Get Stefan. Please.”
Klaus: “No, Tyler, get the bags. Forget the girl and get the bags. Now.”Elena: “So that’s it? You’re just going to bleed me dry?”
Klaus: “Yes. But don’t worry. It’ll be completely painless. As the last drop is drawn, you’ll simply fall asleep.”
Elena: “What about your hybrids? You’ll need more than this to create your army.”
Klaus: “These last few liters will have to suffice. You see… By attempting to kill us, my mother strengthened the bond between my siblings and I. I don’t need hybrids. I have my family.”
Elena: “If you believe that, then why take my blood at all? You want a back-up family. You know that your siblings will never trust you again.”
Klaus: “You know Stefan blames me for trying to tear him from his brother? But I think we both know who really came between them. You. That’s why you won’t choose. You know once you pick a Salvatore, you’ll destroy their bond. Consider this me doing you a favor. Once you’re dead, you won’t have to choose. No broken hearts. Their family stays intact. But just between us girls, who would you have picked?”
Elena: Rot in hell.
Klaus: Hmm. You’re welcome. Sweet dreams, Elena. It’s been fun.Klaus: “So much for that sire bond.”
Tyler: “I’m not your little bitch anymore.”
Klaus: “How did you break the sire bond?”
Tyler: “By breaking every bone in my body a hundred times for the girl I love.”
Klaus: “That’s impossible.”
Tyler: “Is it? Or maybe real love is stronger than fake loyalty. But what would you know about that?”
Klaus: “You know, you should be thanking me. I gave you a gift, I took away your misery.”
Tyler: “You didn’t give a crap about me! You just didn’t want to be alone.”
Klaus: “Good-bye, Tyler.”
Klaus: “What took you so long?”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “Alaric didn’t want to hand over the stake. Luckily I’m quite the charmer.”
Klaus: “That’s it?”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “Last of the white oak stakes that can kill us. Do you want to do the honors, or shall I? Well, that’s that, then.”
Klaus: “Pack your bags. We’re leaving.”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “Today?”
Klaus: “Why not? There’s nothing keeping us here. We’ll grab the doppelganger and be off by sunset.”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “But tonight’s the decade dance.”
Klaus: “So?”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “So I’m head of the committee. We have to go.”
Klaus: “I’m not going to any dance.”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “Caroline will be there.”
Klaus: “That means nothing to me.”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “Please? I have big plans for tonight. Just go for me.”
Klaus: “Ok, fine. One last hurrah.”
Esther [as Rebekah]: “One last hurrah, Nik.”Klaus: “Where have you been, mate?”
Tyler: “I just got back in town.”
Klaus: “That’s funny. I don’t recall giving you permission to leave in the first place. You don’t mind if I cut in, do you?”
Caroline: “Yes, actually, we do.”
Tyler: “No. It’s fine.”
Caroline: “Why do you always have to prove you’re the alpha male?”
Klaus: “I don’t have to prove anything, love. I am the alpha male.”
Come on. One dance. I won’t bite. You would have loved the 1920s, Caroline. Girls were reckless, sexy, fun. They literally used to dance until they dropped.”
Caroline: “I don’t suppose that ever happened to their dance partners.”
Klaus: “You should be nicer to me. I’m leaving town tomorrow. I’d invite you to come with me, but we both know you’re not ready to accept my offer. Perhaps one day, in a year or even a century, You’ll show up at my door and let me show you what the world has to offer. You mark my words. Small-town boy, small-town life, it won’t be enough for you.”Jeremy: “Well, if Matt and I can leave, we could stop Esther ourselves. We just gotta find out where she is.”
Stefan: “Suicide, Jeremy.”
Klaus: “Suicide would be disappointing me. Now work your magic, witch, or I’ll start killing people you fancy.”“Let’s cut the dramatics and begin, shall we?”
Klaus: “You know, this is your fault. You set us on this path. When you released my mother. I wonder if revenge will prove worth the cost.”
Stefan: “Oh, I’m done with revenge. As far as Esther, we’ve stopped her before, we’ll stop her again.”
Klaus: “We are strange bedfellows, you and I. You know, all of this reminds me of our time together in the twenties.”
Stefan: “You say that like I’m supposed to have happy memories about it.”
Klaus: “Well, there were moments, real friendship, Brotherhood.”
Damon: “Oh, he already has a brother. Not to be, you know, territorial or anything.”
Klaus: “Oh, no, of course. The Salvatores and their unshakeable bond. I wonder what’ll happen when Elena finally makes her choice. Will we see you shake Just a little bit?”“Your trap failed, mother. I live, and I will go on living. Let your beloved spirits try to preserve you again. I dare you to come after me. I will build an army so big, no one will ever touch me. My survival will haunt you through eternity. You will never destroy me!”
Klaus: “Well, this is depressing, isn’t it? Oh, and I found this upstairs. Now by my count, there should be one more.”
Stefan: “Yeah, well, it’s going to take a little more time.”
Klaus: “Why, because we’re waiting for that one to pass out? No, thanks. I think i’ll just kill him.”
Stefan: “Well, then you won’t know the location of the other stake.”
Klaus: “I can live with that.”
Stefan: “Well, I can’t. When we staked Finn, we discovered that killing an original vampire killed its entire bloodline. Now, I don’t know which one of you i’m descended from, but I’d really rather not find out by dying, so why don’t we just find the stake, destroy it so we can all be safe?”
Klaus: “So the fate of the entire vampire race depends on you finding the stake. And to get it, we need you to pass out. Which means that I feel totally justified doing this. [Snaps Alaric's neck] There. Sleeping like a baby.”“It’s a little gratuitous, don’t you think, Stefan? I would have been more gentle.”
Klaus: “And then there was one. I know about your brother’s little mission to Denver. He failed. Not that that’s news anymore.”
Stefan: “So what are you going to do now, Klaus? Are you going to kill me?”
Klaus: “I haven’t actually decided yet.”
Stefan: Oh, sure you have. See, you’ve had every chance and every excuse imaginable to do it, but yet you haven’t. Which means you don’t want to.”
Klaus: “You know something, you’re right. See, I’m still waiting for my old friend to come back. By the looks of it, he’s just beneath the surface. Waiting to come out and play. Isn’t that right, Ripper?”
Klaus: “Hello, Finn.”
Finn: “Hello, Niklaus. I have nothing to say to you.”
Klaus: “I’m not here to chat. I will ask you one time, though, where’s our mother?”
Finn: “Gone to find another way to end our abominable lives. And when she does, I will sacrifice myself all over again.”
Klaus: “How fortunate that I found you. I require your assistance.”
Finn: “I have no wish to help you. Only to see you dead.”
Klaus: “Well, that’s the thing. You see, you won’t be able to see me dead because if I die, then you die, so it’s a wish unfulfilled.”
Finn: “Oh, bother someone else with your hollow charms, Niklaus.”
Klaus: “Why? When I can bother my big brother? I need you to accompany me back to Mystic Falls. I have a witch there who can help undo Esther’s spell that linked us together.”
Finn: “I have no wish to be unlinked!”
Klaus: “Again with the wishes. Let me rephrase… you will come back with me or I will put you back in that coffin in which you rotted for 900 years.”
Finn: “What happens to one happens to all. You may not feel the effects of the dagger, but you’d lose your precious Rebekah.”
Klaus: “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Rebekah: “Let’s not make this any worse than it has to be, darling brother.”
Finn: “You’re siding with him? Rebekah, he stored us in boxes.”
Rebekah: “At least he’s not trying to make us extinct.”
Finn: “What are you going to do? Kill me?”
Klaus “Oh, yeah, that’s right, you’ve got a death wish. Fine. Pathetic, but fine. The thing is, I’m not going to have you take the rest of us down with you.”Rebekah: “Gather your witch. Let’s get his blood and get on with it.”
Finn: “You can’t force me to help you.”
Klaus: “Oh, I most likely could. But why force when I can persuade?”
Sage: “Hello, Finn.”Rebekah: “What do you know? True love prevails.”
Klaus: “It does occasionally have its uses. Easier than torturing him.”Rebekah: “I have something to do. What do you need from me for this spell?”
Klaus: “Just your blood and your blessing. Where are you going?”
Rebekah: “I have some unfinished business with Damon Salvatore. Ask Sage what he did to me. And you’ll understand why retribution is in order.”Klaus: “Well… Look what you caught. If you’re trying to bleed him of vervain, don’t you think it would be easier to hang him upside down?”
Rebekah: “I’m perfectly capable of inflicting pain, thank you very much.”
Klaus: “Oh, well, excuse me. It’s not like I have any expertise in the matter.”
Rebekah: “You know, why don’t you just leave me be and go and manage your witch?”Klaus: “Tick tock. I should hear chanting by now.”
Bonnie: “I’m still studying the unlinking spell. It’s not that easy, especially under duress.”
Klaus: “You’ve been warned. If you’re looking for a way to send for help, I will kill anyone who comes to your rescue.”
Bonnie: “This is the spell. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough.”
Klaus: “Then you should have a little more faith in yourself, Bonnie. Your energy helped my mother link us. Honestly, I think someone isn’t trying very hard. Very well. Kol. How’s the weather up there in mile high city? And how’s our friend? May I see him. There’s Jeremy. Playing fetch with his new puppy. Isn’t that just the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen? Thank you, kol. We’ll be in touch. So, Bonnie. How about that spell?”
Kol: “I’m bored. Our sister is a strumpet, but at least she’s having fun. I need entertainment.”
Klaus: “What are you waiting for? Go on. Have at it.”
Kol: “It’s no fun to go alone. Join me, Nik. It’s the least you could do after sticking a dagger in my heart.”
Klaus: “Ok. Why not? I didn’t have nearly enough to drink last night, what with you trying to murder Rebekah’s date.”
Rebekah: “Yes, please go. This house has enough men rolling around in it.”
Kol: “Just like you, Bekah.”
Rebekah: “Good ridance, both of you.”“Ah, come on now. Let’s not go blaming the new family in town just ’cause you lot have got yourselves a killer at large.”
“Don’t mind us. My brother and I are just here to let off some steam. Right, Kol?”
[About Caroline]
Kol: “I remember her from last night. She looks like a tasty little thing.”
Klaus: “Say another word, and I’ll tear out your liver.”Klaus: “Caroline.”
Caroline: “Oh, it’s you.”
Klaus: “Join us for a drink?”
Caroline: “Mm, I’d rather die of thirst, but thanks.”[About Caroline]
Klaus: “Isn’t she stunning?”
Kol: “She certainly looks good walking away from you.”
Klaus: “I’ll take that as a challenge.”[To Caroline] “Don’t be angry, love. We had a little spat. I’m over it already.”
[To Caroline] “Oh, come on. Take a chance, Caroline. Talk to me. Come on. Get to know me. I dare you.”
“Enough. All this talk is boring me. End this now, mother, or I’ll send you back to hell.”
Rebekah: “I hated you when I learned you killed our mother… But I realize now that after a thousand years together as a family, you’re the only one who never left me.”
Klaus: “Well, aren’t we a pair?”[To Rebekah] “Come to brag about your skills as a torturer?”
Klaus [to Rebekah]: “Do you want another dagger in your heart?”
Kol: “Again with the dagger threats? Don’t you have any other tricks?”
Klaus: “Oh, go back to staring at yourself.”“Rebekah wasn’t even out of her box a day before she tried to ruin my life.”
[To Esther] “I killed you, and still you forgive me.”
[To Caroline] “Very well. On to more mannered subjects then,like how ravishing you look in that dress.”
Klaus: “You like horses?’
Caroline: “I’m not talking to you until you tell me why you invited me here.”
Klaus: “I fancy you. Is that so hard to believe?”
Caroline: “Yes.“
Klaus: “Why? You’re beautiful. You… you’re strong. You’re full of light. I enjoy you.”
Caroline: “Well, I’m spoken for. By Tyler.”
Klaus: “I thought you two ended things.”
Caroline: “Yeah, because of you and your freaky sire bond with him.”
Klaus: “So you aren’t spoken for. You know, horses are the opposite of people. They’re loyal. My father hunted me for a thousand years, and the closest he ever came was the day he killed my favorite horse. He… he severed its neck with a sword as a warning.”
Caroline: “Did you ever consider sitting down with your father and talking it out?”
Klaus: “I’m afraid my relationship with my father was a little more complex than yours.”
Caroline: “Maybe so. But I let my father go with no regrets. And to answer your question, yes, I like horses, but I also like people, and they actually like me. So I’ll be inside.”Caroline: “Where’d you steal this from?”
Klaus: “Well, that’s a long story. But rest assured it was worn by a princess almost as beautiful as you.”[To Caroline] “I’ll take you. Wherever you want. Rome. Paris. Tokyo?”
Elijah: “You look surprised to see me. I guess it wasn’t you that removed the dagger from my chest.”
Klaus: “You look like you could do with a drink. And we have a lot to discuss, so shall we?”“Easy! I just finished renovating!”
“You know, you have every right to be mad at me, but I kept my word. I reunited you with our family.”
Klaus: “Don’t make me do this to you again, Elijah!”
Elijah: “Come on. Use it. I dare you. You’ll have KOL to death with.”[To Elijah]: “I only ask that you remember the oath of loyalty you once swore to me. Always and forever. I need you to stand by my side. Be my brother. Help me… Destroy Stefan, and I promise you, our family will be whole again.”
“Damon. Stefan. Elijah tells me you seek an audience. Very bold. Let’s discuss the terms of our agreement like civilized men, shall we?”
“Hmm. Well, we can sit and eat, or I can reach down your throats and pull out your insides. Choice is yours.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“Isn’t this nice? The four of us [Klaus, Elijah, Damon and Stefan] dining together. Such a treat. [To Damon] Is this what you had in mind when you pulled the dagger out of my brother?”
“Well, Elijah and I have had our share of quarrels over the centuries, but we always make it through.”
Klaus: “It’s just the allure of the Petrova Doppelganger is still so strong. What do you say, brother? Should we tell them about Tatia?”
Elijah: “Now why should we discuss matters long since resolved?”
Klaus: “Well, given their shared affection for both Elena and Katerina, I think our guests might be curious to learn about the originator of the Petrova line.”
Elijah: “When our family first settled here, there was a girl named Tatia. She was an exquisite beauty. Every boy of age desired to be her suitor. Even though she’d had a child by another man. And none loved her more than Niklaus.”
Klaus: “Oh, I’d say there was one who loved her at least as much.”
Stefan: “Wait a minute, so you both loved the same girl?”
Elijah: “Our mother was a very powerful witch. She sought to end our feud over Tatia, and so she took her. And Klaus and I would later learn that it was Tatia’s blood that we consumed in the wine on the night where our mother performed the spell which turned us into vampires. Tatia wouldn’t make a decision between the two of us, so for a time, Niklaus and I…Grew estranged. Harsh words were traded. We even came to blows. Didn’t we, brother?”
Klaus: “But in the end, we recognized the sacred bond of family.”“Family above all.”
“I don’t think you understand. I can’t do that because Elena’s doppelganger blood ensures that I will always have more hybrids to fight those that oppose me. I will never leave her behind.”
[To Stefan and Damon] “Let’s say I do leave her here, under your protection. What then? How long before one of you turns her into a vampire? Or worse. How long before she dies, caught between your feuding? You see, each one of you truly believes that you’re the one that can protect her. And that is simply a delusion. Gentlemen… The worst thing for Elena Gilbert is… The two of you.”
“Mmm. Hmm. All this talk has made me thirsty. What do you say, Stefan? Can I interest you in a little after dinner drink?”
Stefan: “Well, I guess the only reason you agreed to this evening, Klaus, is to drive a wedge between me and my brother.”
Klaus: “Oh, no, you’re doing that well enough on your own. Because of Elena, you’re going to lose your brother, and you’ll only have yourself to blame.”Klaus: “I offer Elena’s future happiness. You see, what she needs right now is to be rid of you lot, and to fall in love with a human. Maybe that nice football player, you know, the blonde one.”
Damon: “Matt Donovan? Really?”
Klaus: “Yeah, why not? They’ll marry, live a long and fruitful life, and pop out a perfect family.”
Stefan: “And continue the Petrova bloodline. Every few hundred years, you’ll have a new doppelganger to drain and never run out of hybrids. Right, Klaus?”
Klaus: “Consider it a small return on my investment in her well-being.”
Klaus: “See, after you hand me back the coffin, I’ll ensure her safety for the rest of her natural life. You know it’s what’s best for her. So… What do you say, Stefan? Hmm? Do we have a deal?”
Stefan: “Nice try, Klaus. But no deal.”
Damon: “What are you doing?! Stop!”
Klaus: “Now bring me my coffin before I burn him alive. Go with him, brother. You keep him honest. When you return, I will make good on my promise to you and I will hand over our family.”[To Stefan] “You really have given up, haven’t you, huh? Where’s the fight? Where’s the ripper?!”
Klaus: “Elijah. Why haven’t you left?”
Elijah: “Well, where are your manners, brother? You forgot dessert.”
Klaus: “What have you done? What have you done?”
Elijah: “See, I’ve learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We’re doing this
on my terms now.”Rebekah: “I like what you’ve done with the new place, Nik.”
Klaus: “I wanted it to be for all of us. A place we could all call home. A place we could all be a family. None of us would ever have to be alone again.”
Elijah: “Oh, you’re right. None of us will be. You’re staying behind.”
Rebekah: “We’re leaving you, Nik. Right after I kill that Doppelganger wench. And you will be alone. Always and forever.”
Klaus: “If you run. I will hunt all of you down.”
Elijah: “And then you’ll become everything you hate. Our father.”
Klaus: “I’m the hybrid! I can’t be killed! I have nothing to fear from any of you!”
Elijah: “You will when we have that coffin.”
Rebekah: “Mother?”Esther: “Look at me. Do you know why I’m here?”
Klaus: “You’re here to kill me.”
Esther: “Niklaus, you are my son. And I am here to forgive you. I want us to be a family again.”
Stefan: “What are you doing here, Klaus?”
Klaus: “Enjoying our stalemate.”
Stefan: “What do you want?”
Klaus: “Question is, what do you want? My hybrids left town as you demanded, so please tell me what I need to do to get my family back.”
Stefan: “Well, ahem, see, Klaus… I’m not negotiating.”
Klaus: “And you understand that holding them indefinitely is the same thing as dropping them in the ocean?”
Stefan: “No, no, you leave Mystic Falls and then give me a call in a few years, and… We’ll talk.”
Klaus: “I’m going to give you another chance. Just one more. Let’s make a reasonable deal.”
Stefan: “Or what? You make one move, and I will drop…”
Klaus: “Yes, that’s right. Crazy Stefan. How’s that working out for you? Any friends left?”Klaus: “How’s life on the road?”
Daniel: “Scenic. How’s life in Mystic Falls without any hybrids?”
Klaus: “Boring. For now.”
Daniel: “If you want any of us back, you just have to say the word.”
Klaus: “There’s no need. I’ve been making friends with the town’s civil servants. There’s a deputy who’s awfully chatty, but useful nonetheless. Are you clear on what you need to do?”
Daniel: “I’ve got it covered.”Klaus: “What took you so long? Hiding behind your witchy friends. And in squalor, no less.”
Damon: “Insulting a bunch of dead witches… Not smart. I made the exact same mistake first time I came in here.”
Klaus: “Well, you know the funny thing about the witches is that living or dead, they care about their own. A hundred dead witches have a thousand living descendents… And I have no problem killing every last one of them if I don’t get my coffins back. As we speak, my hybrid friend is prepared to end the Bennett line. Now. Please… Show me the coffins.”[To Damon] “I will tear you limb from limb. And only then, when you are a writhing mass of blood and flesh, will I rip your heart from your chest.”
Klaus: “You have your family back. Finally.”
Daniel: “You’re going to open them?”
Klaus: “Not quite yet. I still have some unfinished business to take care of.”
“Sweet dreams, Rebekah.”
Klaus: “I’m surprised you’re still in town. I gave you your freedom. You could have gone anywhere.”
Stefan: “I live here, Klaus.”
Klaus: “Well, if we’re playing this game, then, uh… I was here first.”Klaus: “I’m surprised you’re still in town. I gave you your freedom. You could have gone anywhere.”
Stefan: “I live here, Klaus.”
Klaus: “Well, if we’re playing this game, then, uh… I was here first.”Stefan: “You know, I don’t like your hybrid friends. They’re everywhere, kind of like fleas. I want them gone.”
Klaus: “Yeah, well, uh, I kind of like having them around. You know, I’m hurt. I hoped that, uh, I’d free you and we’d pick up where we left off, but here you are, guzzling vervain like the rest of them, I’m sure. So much for friendship.”
Stefan: “Friends don’t strip friends of their free will.”
Klaus: “Ok, granted, yeah, that was a little extreme, but I get a little moody. Just ask my siblings. Speaking of whom… Isn’t it time you handed them over?”
Stefan: “Klaus… Get your hybrids out of Mystic Falls or I will remove them myself.”
Klaus: “Hmm. You see, if you continue to threaten me, I’m going to be forced to retaliate. Kill people. And it’ll get messy again.”
Stefan: “Do whatever you want. I don’t really care. Or you know what? Maybe I do. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I care so much that I drop Elijah into the Arctic.”
Klaus: “Well, maybe I’d be willing to lose one brother if it meant killing yours.”
Stefan: “Try me. Let’s find out.”Mindy: “Is everything ok?”
Klaus: “Everything’s fine, mindy. Stefan was just leaving after failing to make his point.”
Stefan [after choppig Mindy's head off]: “Well… One down. You may want to, uh, send the rest of them away before it gets messy… Again.”Tyler: “You called? I’m here. What happened?”
Klaus: “What happened is Stefan had 2 paths in front of him and he chose the onethat made me angry. I need you to help me do something about that.”
Tyler: “Can’t you just leave me out of it?”
Klaus: “What would be the point in that?”
Tyler: “Seriously, man, can’t you just get one of your other hybrids to do your bidding? I lost my friends, my girlfriend.”
Klaus: “Right, your, uh, your girlfriend. Um, about her… I need you to bite her.”Tyler: “What?”
Klaus: “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
Tyler: “A hybrid bite would kill a vampire.”
Klaus: “Yeah, yeah. I know exactly what it will do. Stefan pushed me too far, so I’m pushing back.”
Tyler: “I’m not biting Caroline!”
Klaus: “Tyler, I’ve been supernaturally blessed with the good fortune of a sire bond to you, so one could consider this me putting your undying loyalty to the test.”
Tyler: “What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not hurting Caroline.”
Klaus: “All right. All right. I’m disappointed, but you know, it’s your choice, free will and all that. I’ll find another way to strike at Stefan. You can go now.”Damon: “Look what the cat dragged in. Nice vest.”
Klaus: “Well, thank you very much. Good to see you, Damon. Carol and I were just discussing whether you’d be tonight’s other big benefactor.”
Carol: “What do you say, Damon? Klaus has made a very generous pledge. You know how we’re chomping at the bit to begin the renovation.”
Damon: “Hmm. Carol, don’t take this the wrong way, but do you realize that you’ve been kissing the ass of an immortal hybrid who ruined your son’s life?”
Klaus: “Oh, come now. Some might say I saved it, what all that nasty full moon business. I never had to go through it myself more than twice to be honest, but still… I’m very sympathetic.”
Carol: “Klaus has promised to protect Tyler, Damon, and our town.”
Damon: “From who? His hybrids are the ones the town needs protection from.”
Klaus: “Well, I’d have no use for them if your brother would kindly return my family.”
Damon: “Not gonna happen.”
Klaus: “That’s what I thought, which is why I’ve come to an agreement with the mayor. You and the council stay out of my hair, I’ll stay out of yours. Your town gets protected, my hybrids get left alone and everybody will be happy. “All you have to do is to get Stefan to stop decapitating my friends.”
Carol: “Please, Damon. Just get your brother under control or the council will be forced to take action against him.”
Damon: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Klaus: “Oh, come on, mate, give peace a chance.”Klaus: “What now? You just pulled me away from a fascinating conversation about landscaping the town square.”
Damon: “Stefan just grabbed Elena.”
Klaus: “What? He’s getting desperate.”
Damon: “He’s gonna try to use her against you. Do what he says. Get rid of your hybrids.”
Klaus: “Or what? Stefan would never dream of killing her.”
Damon: “Are you sure about that? He just tried to behead someone in the middle of a council party. He’s operating on crazy right now.”
Klaus: “Well, crazy or not, that kind of love never dies.”Klaus: “Stefan, how nice to hear your voice.”
Stefan: “Tell your hybrids to get out of town, Klaus.”
Klaus: “Well, that’s not going to happen until I get my coffins back.”
Stefan: “Ok. Well, then I’m going to drive your blood source off wickery bridge.”
Klaus: “I don’t believe you, Stefan. You won’t kill her.”
Elena: “No! No! No! What are you doing?”
Klaus: “What’s going on?”
Stefan: “I just fed her my blood. No more hybrids if she’s a vampire.”
Klaus: “You won’t do it.”
Stefan: “Really? Try me because your coffins are next to go. Say good-bye to your family, Klaus.”
Elena: “Stefan, slow down! Stefan, slow down!”
Klaus: “Fine. I’ll send them away. You win.”
Elena: “Stefan! Stefan, stop!”
Klaus: “Stop the car, Stefan!”Caroline: “Are you going to kill me?”
Klaus: “On your birthday? Do you really think that low of me?”
Caroline: “Yes.”
Klaus: “Oh, that looks bad. My apologies. You’re what’s known as collateral damage. It’s nothing personal.”Klaus: “I love birthdays.”
Caroline: “Yeah. Aren’t you like… A billion or something?”
Klaus: “We have to adjust your perception of time when you become a vampire, Caroline. Celebrate the fact that you’re no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You’re free.”
Caroline: “No. I’m dying.”
Klaus: “And I could let you die… If that’s what you want. If you really believe your existence has no meaning. I’ve thought about it myself once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. There’s a whole world out there waiting for you, great cities and art and music… Genuine beauty. And you can have all of it. You can have a thousand more birthdays. All you have to do is ask.”
Caroline: “I don’t want to die.”
Klaus: “There you go, sweetheart. Have at it. Happy birthday, Caroline.”
Klaus: “Don’t mind me.”
Elena: “Klaus.”
Damon: “You going to do this in the grill, in front of everyone? It’s a little beneath you, don’t you think?”
Klaus: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just came down to my local pub to grab a drink with a mate. Get a round, then, would you, Tony?”
Damon: “I’m surprised you stuck around town. Long enough for happy hour.”
Klaus: “My sister seems to be missing. Need to sort that out.”
Damon: “Cute, blonde bombshell Shouldn’t be too hard to find.”
Klaus: “Truth is, I’ve grown to rather like your little town. Thinking I might fancy a home here. I imagine you’re wondering how does this affect you. And the answer is, not in the slightest. As long as I get what I want, and everyone behaves themselves, you can go on living your little lives however you choose. You have my word.”
Elena: “What more could you possibly want?”
Klaus: “Well, for starters, you can tell me where I might find Stefan.”
Damon: “Stefan skipped town the second he saved your ass.”
Klaus: “Well, you see, that is a shame. Your brother stole from me. I need him found so I can take back what’s mine.”
Elena: “That sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem.”
Klaus: “Well, this is me broadening the scope, sweetheart.”Klaus: “I think it’s about time we had a drink, don’t you?”
Damon: “I’d say we’re overdue.”
Klaus: “Well, you’ve been so busy, what with all your plotting and scheming.”
Damon: “You know me… Never miss a chance to plan an epic failure.”
Klaus: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Who could have guessed your own brother would betray you?”
Damon: “Well, I did have a front row seat when your sister lied to you.”
Klaus: “Yeah, well, she’s fickle, that one. And you say you have no idea of her whereabouts?”
Damon: “That’s the thing with younger siblings. You just… never know what they’re going to do.”Klaus: “Cheers, mate.”
Damon: “Down the hatch.”
Klaus: “You know, we’ve actually got a lot in common, you and I.”
Damon: “Really? Well, yeah. Maybe we can… Bond over our mutual loathing of my brother. Why are you so mad at him? He stole something?”
Klaus: “My family. The originals. I had them daggered, boxed up, awaiting the day when I saw fit to wake them. And he went in and pinched the bloody lot.”
Damon: “Of course he did. Ah, such a buzz kill, my baby bro. Well, I’d love to find him. Just the trouble is I sure as hell don’t work for you.”
Klaus: “You know, your drink stinks of vervain, so I can’t compel you. There’d be no point in killing you, because you’re actually the one with the most hope of getting me what I need. And yet, it would seem a demonstration is in order. Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough when I told you to find Stefan. Oh, well. It seems you people respond best to displays of violence. ”“Compel the men to open up this wall. We need sun. I want a fortress, not a dungeon.”
Klaus: “There he is. Man of the hour.”
Tyler: “So everything went ok?”
Klaus: “Tony ran down Alaric instead of Jeremy, but apples, oranges. Message learns the same.”
Tyler: “You said you were sending them a warning.”
Klaus: “And I did… an effective one. Elena’s family suffers, she’s motivated to get me what I want.”
Tyler: “I didn’t think that we’d actually have to kill anyone.”
Klaus: “Tyler, mate. What you’re feeling is the remnant of a guilty conscience. I need you to get over it, ok? At the end of the day, human life here is just a means to an end… Our means to our end. You’d do well to remember that.”“My poor sister. I can’t turn my back on her for a moment.”
Elena: “You have Rebekah. A deal is a deal.”
Klaus: “The life of my sister in exchange for your brother? Yeah, I’d say that’s a bargain. Consider him spared.”Elena: “You should know, I was the one that daggered her. When she wakes, she’ll come after me.”
Klaus: “I can control Rebekah. Besides, I still need your help finding Stefan.”
Elena: “I told you, I don’t know where he is.”
Klaus: “You’re lying. Fortunately, you have no shortage of loved ones. If I don’t find my family, the question you should be asking yourself is, who’s going to die next? Bonnie? Caroline? Damon? It’s only a matter of time before Stefan gives me what I want.”“Here we are, Rebekah. Home, sweet home. Only took 1,000 years. And to think, I was counting on you being here with me. But that’s all ruined now, isn’t it? I’m so sorry. Sister. We’ll meet again one day.”
“Portland is fantastic once you can get over all the whiney music and healthy-looking people. It’s literally a breeding ground for werewolves.”
“What did you say to me?”
“If you’re lying to me, Stefan, your compulsion will expose you. So answer with your life. Is what you’re saying the truth?”
Rebekah: “Hello, Nik.”
Klaus: “Rebekah, love. What’s this I hear about Mikael’s tragic run-in with a dagger?”
Rebekah: “It’s true. He’s finally out of our lives for good. I miss you. I’m miserable here.”
Klaus: “I’ll be home soon.”“Good evening everyone! I want to thank you all for being here with me to celebrate. It’s been a long time coming.”
Stefan: “Quite the homecoming.”
Klaus: “I’ve been planning my father’s funeral for 1,000 years. Granted, in no version of it were any of these people invited. But you get the idea.”
Stefan: “So now what? You just stop running?”
Klaus: “Now I reunite my family.”
Stefan: “Your family. You mean, the people you cart around in caskets?”
Klaus: “None of that matters anymore. Mikael’s gone. Bygones will be bygones.”“Seems the homecoming queen still walks among the living, which leaves me to believe Rebekah isn’t here. Where is she?”
Stefan: “Now, would you like me to take you to your father?”
Klaus: “Well, it wouldn’t be a party without the guest of honor, would it? Bring him to me.”Tyler: “My mom would seriously freak if she saw all these people here.”
Klaus: “Your mother won’t be a problem. I compelled her to go to church and pray for your friends.”Klaus: “I want you to look around. There’s Bonnie. There’s Elena and Matt. There’s your pretty little girlfriend Caroline. Their big dance was wrecked tonight and who came through with a party? You did. What a pal. But who are all these other people here?”
Tyler: “I have no idea. I’ve never seen half these people in my life.”
Klaus: “Well, that’s because I invited a few dozen friends of my own.”
…
Tyler: “Hold on. Are those people all hybrids?”
Klaus: “Well, they also love a good party. And they, like you, are sired by me. They wish to serve their master. So if anyone should so much as make a move against me, they may feel obligated to retaliate. Feel free to warn your friends.”Klaus: “Seems I have you to thank for Mikael’s demise.”
Katherine [as Elena]: “He came at me. I didn’t have a choice.”
Klaus: “Still I’m impressed. It’s not easy for a human to dagger an original.”Klaus: “You seem nervous.”
Katherine [as Elena]: “I’m not nervous. I just don’t like you.”
Klaus: “Right. Straight to the point then, shall I, love? People have been after me for 1,000 years. And I am always one step ahead. So whatever it is you’re thinking of trying, give it your best shot. You won’t succeed.”
Katherine [as Elena]: “It won’t be for lack of trying.”
Klaus: “Now you’d be smart to tell Damon to mind his manners tonight.’Cause if I die, I’ve already insured that he’ll die along with me. Even in death, my hybrids have their orders. So you kill me, you’re killing him too.”Mindy: “You have a visitor.”
Klaus: “Well, tell my visitor I’m on the brink of victory here.”
Mindy: “He said his name is Mikael.”
Klaus: “Then we mustn’t keep him waiting. Move everyone out back. I’m going to have a little chat with my dad.”Mikael: “Hello, Niklaus.”
Klaus: “Hello, Mikael. Won’t you come in? Oh, that’s right. I forgot. You can’t.”
Mikael: “Or you can come outside if you want.”
Klaus: “Or I can watch my hybrids tear you limb from limb.”
Mikael: “They can’t kill me.”
Klaus: “True, but it’ll make a hell of a party game. All I have to do is rub these 2 fingers together, and they’ll pounce.”
Mikael: “The big bad wolf. You haven’t changed. Still hiding behind your playthings like a coward. You only forget. They may be sired by you, but they’re still part vampire. And they can be compelled by me. Come out and face me Niklaus, or she dies.”
Klaus: “Go ahead. Kill her.”
Katherine [as Elena]: “No, Klaus. He’ll do it.”
Mikael: “If she dies, this lot will be the last of your abominations.”
Klaus: “I don’t need them. I just need to be rid of you.”
Mikael: “To what end, Niklaus? So you can live forever with no one at your side? Nobody cares about you anymore, boy! Who do you have other than those whose loyalty you’ve forced? No one. No one.”
Klaus: “I’m calling your bluff, father. Kill her.”
Mikael: “Come outside and face me, you little coward. And I won’t have to.”
Klaus: “My whole life you’ve underestimated me. If you kill her, you lose your leverage. So go ahead. Go on. Kill her. Come on, old man. Kill her. Kill her!”
Mikael: [Chuckles] “Your impulse, Niklaus. It has and will forever be the one thing that keeps you from truly being great.”Damon [to Stefan]: “What the hell did you do?”
Klaus: “He’s earned his freedom. Thank you, my friend. You no longer have to do as I say. You’re free.”“Rebekah, where are you? Pick up the phone, darling. Daddy’s dead. It’s time for a family reunion.”
Klaus: “Stefan. Miss me already?”
Stefan: “I’m just calling to thank you for my freedom.”
Klaus: “I like to believe I’m a man of my word. More or less.”
Stefan: “The thing is, it came at too high of a price. You took everything from me, Klaus.”
Klaus: “Let bygones be bygones. Trust me, resentment gets old.”
Stefan: “You know what never gets old? Revenge.”
Klaus: “No!”
Stefan: W”hat’s the matter, Klaus? Missing something?”
Klaus: “What are you doing?”
Stefan: “I’m just enjoying my freedom.”
Klaus: “I will kill you and every one you’ve ever met.”
Stefan: “You do that and you’ll never see your family again. I wonder, Klaus. As someone who’s been one step ahead for 1,000 years were you prepared for this?”
Klaus: “Rebekah, let me have at it.”
Rebekah: “Quiet, Niklaus. I have to have my concentration if I’m not to slice off a finger.”
Klaus: “Father will not like you handling the blade.”
Rebekah: “If I want to wield a blade, I shall wield a blade. Father need not know.”
Klaus: “He will find out. He always does.”
Rebekah: “That is because you always tell him.”
Klaus: “I cannot help it. He frightens me.”
Rebekah: “He frightens us all. That is why we stick together as one, always and forever. Right, traitor?”
Klaus: “Right.”
Rebekah: “Here. You finish. I’m to help mother with the meal.”
Klaus: “Yes. Go tend to dinner. Leave the blades to the men, little sister. Ahh. Bekka.”
Rebekah: “It’s just a little blood. Be a man about it.”Rebekah: “Come on, Henrik. Our brothers are fighting again.”
Elijah: “Oh, look. Sister’s arrived to watch my fast-approaching victory.”
Klaus: “On the contrary, Elijah. She’s come to laugh at you.”Esther: “Relax, Mikael. Niklaus means well.”
Mikael: “That is precisely my problem. So… Why don’t you teach me that trick, young warrior?”
Klaus: “Father, we were just having fun.”
Mikael: “We fight for our survival. And you find time for fun?! I want to have fun! Teach me. Come on!”
Klaus: “Father, it was nothing.”
Mikael: “You are foolish and impulsive, my boy. What? No more laughter?”
Esther: “You’ve made your point, Mikael.”
Mikael: “Some days, it’s a miracle you’re still alive… Boy.”
Klaus: “There’s my girl.”
Elena: “Klaus.”
Klaus: “You’re supposed to be dead. What are we going to do about that?”Klaus: “You put a rather large kink in my plans, sweetheart. The whole point of breaking the curse and becoming a hybrid was to make more hybrids. I haven’t been able to do that. Now my bet is, it has something to do with the fact that you’re still breathing.”
Elena: “If you’re going to kill me, just do it!”
Klaus: “Not until I know I’m right. But I do have ways of making you suffer.”Klaus: “Attention, seniors. You have officially been busted. Prank night is over. Head on home. You two. I remember you.”
Dana: “I’m sorry. Who are you?”
Klaus: “Oh, don’t worry, I wasn’t in my right head last time we met.”Elena: “Don’t, Klaus. You don’t have to hurt anybody.”
Klaus: “Oh, come on, love. Of course I do.”Klaus: “I assume you’re the reason Elena’s still walking around alive?”
Bonnie: “That’s right. If you want to blame someone, blame me.”
Klaus: “Oh, there’s no need for blame, love. Just your witchy interference seems to have caused some undesirable side effects. And since you caused the problem, I’m going to have you find the fix.”Klaus: “I’d like you all to meet my sister Rebekah. Word of warning… She can be quite mean.”
Rebekah: “Don’t be an ass.”“I’m going to make this very simple… Every time I attempt to turn a werewolf into a vampire hybrid, they die during the transition. It’s quite horrible, actually. I need you to find a way to save my hybrids, Bonnie. And for Tyler’s sake… You better hurry.”
“Go on, then. Go and fetch your grimoires and enchantments and what-not. I’ll hold on to Elena… For safe-keeping.”
Klaus: “Come to save your damsel, mate?”
Stefan: “I came to ask for your forgiveness. And pledge my loyalty.”
Klaus: “Well, you broke that pledge once already.”
Stefan: “Elena means nothing to me anymore. And whatever you ask of me… I will do.”
Klaus: “Fair enough. Let’s drink on it. Kill them. What are you waiting for? Kill them.”
Elena: “No! Stefan, don’t. He’s not going to hurt me. He already said… ahh!”
Klaus: “She means nothing to you? Your lies just keep piling up.”
Stefan: ‘Let her go! I’ll do whatever you want, you have my word!”
Klaus: “Your word doesn’t mean much. I lived by your word all summer, during which time I never had to resort to this… Stop fighting.”
Stefan: “Don’t do this, don’t do this.”
Klaus: “I didn’t want to. All I wanted was your allegiance. Now I’m going to have to take it.”
Stefan: “Don’t…Don’t…”
Klaus: “You will do exactly as I say when I say it. You will not run, you will not hide, you will simply just obey.”
Elena: “No! Stefan!”
Klaus: “Now kill them. Ripper.”Klaus: “It’s always nice to see a vampire in his true element. The species has become such a broody lot.”
Elena: “No. You did this to him.”
Klaus: “I invited him to the party, love. He’s the one dancing on the table.”Rebekah: “Where is it?! Where’s my necklace?”
Klaus: “What are you talking about?”
Rebekah: “She has my necklace. Look.”
Klaus: “Well, well. More lies.”
Rebekah: “Where…Ls it?”
Elena: “I don’t have it anymore.”
Rebekah: “You’re lying!”
Klaus: “Knock it off!”
Rebekah: “Make her tell me where it is, Nik!”
Klaus: “Where’s the necklace, sweetheart? Be honest.”
Elena: “I’m telling the truth. Katherine stole it.”
Klaus: “Katerina. Of course. Well, that’s unfortunate. If we had the necklace
it would make things a whole lot easier for your witch, but since we’re doing this the hard way, let’s put a clock on it, shall we?”Klaus [to Stefan]: “20 minutes. If Bonnie hasn’t found a solution by then, I want you to feed
again. Only this time, I want you to feed on Elena. You know you want to.”
Elena: “No, Klaus! Don’t do this to him!”
Klaus: “No one leaves. If she tries to run, fracture her spine.”“Given the choice, doppelganger or a hybrid, I go hybrid every time.”
[To Elena] “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
[To Stefan] “Now this is fascinating. I’ve never seen this before. The only thing stronger than your craving for blood is your love for this one girl.”
Klaus: “Why don’t you turn it off?”
Stefan: “No!”
Klaus: “Come on. Your humanity is killing you. All the guilt must be exhausting. Turn it off.”
Stefan: “No!”
Elena: “Stefan…”
Klaus: “You’re strong. But you’re not that strong. Turn. It. Off.”
Stefan: “No!”
Klaus: “Turn it off!”Elena: “What did you do?”
Klaus: “I fixed him.”“Ripper… Perhaps you’d like a drink… From the doppelganger’s neck.”
Klaus: “Well, the verdict’s in. The original witch says the doppelganger should be dead.”
Rebekah: “Does that mean we can kill her?”
Klaus: “No, I’m fairly certain it means the opposite.”
Rebekah: “What?!”
Klaus: “Call it a hunch…”Rebekah: “So the doppelganger isn’t the problem. Her blood is the solution.”
Klaus: “Seems so.”
Rebekah: “How did you know?”
Klaus: “Well, you know how much the original witch hated me. Do you honestly think I would do anything other than the opposite of what she says.”
Rebekah: “A thousand years in the grave and she’s still screwing with you.”
Klaus: “Well, it makes sense if you think about it from her perspective. It was her failsafe in case I ever broke the hybrid curse. The doppelganger had to die in order for me to become a hybrid, but if she was dead…”
Rebekah: “Then you couldn’t use her blood to sire yourself a new species.”
Klaus: “Leaving me alone for all time.”
Rebekah: “Is that what this is about? Your obsession with hybrids. You just don’t want to be alone?”
Klaus: “What I want is to take my girl, take my hybrid the hell out of this
one pony town.”Klaus: “Well, look who finally decided to show up to the party.”
Damon: “Where is she?”
Klaus: “Elena? Ah, she’s making a donation to a greater cause. I’m afraid I can’t let you interfere, mate.”
Damon: “You’ll have to kill me.”
Klaus: “Oh, I would love to kill you, but I made a pledge to your brother, and unlike him, I keep my word.”
Rebekah: “There has to be more to this dress.”
Klaus: “There’s not.”
Rebekah: “So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then. You know, I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.”
Klaus: “You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.”Rebekah: “And why are you so grumpy?”
Klaus: “I needed one thing from you for my witch to find out why my hybrids are dying, one thing. Your necklace. And you lost it.”
Rebekah: “I didn’t lose it. It’s just been missing for 90 years.”Klaus: “Nice one, good work.”
Stefan: “You’re the one that pulled the dagger out of her.”
Rebekah: “I heard that.”Rebekah: “My girl’s dead. I’m bored.”
Klaus: “You weren’t kidding about being hungry.”
Stefan: “Yeah. It’s been a long day.”
Klaus: “Try being related to her.”
Rebekah: “You’re being mean. And why are you being mean? You used to love me.”
Klaus: “It’s been 90 years, Rebekah. Give him a minute.”
Rebekah: “Why are you taking his side?”
Klaus: “Because, my dear sister, I feel pity for any man who doesn’t give you what you want.”
Rebekah: “Will you stop making me out to be a brat? I am not a brat!”
Klaus: “A thousand years of life experience says otherwise.”
Stefan: “Well, you’re no picnic, either. I mean, I’ve only spent one summer with you and I feel like I want to blow my head off.”
Rebekah: “Fantastic.”Stefan: “Just give me a chance to explain myself, ok?”
Klaus: “No need. I’m not mad, I’m just curious. Rebekah seems to think you’re holding on to something. A piece of your old life. The thing is, she’s got flawless instincts, borderline supernatural. So I thought I would check it out. See for myself what it is you’ve been hiding. Welcome back to Mystic Falls, Stefan.”
“Previously on The Vampire Diaries…”
Stefan: “What are we doing here?”
Klaus: “I know how much you loved it here. Bringing back memories of the good old ripper days.”“The detail’s what makes it legend.”
“Down to business then.”
“We’re going to see my favourite witch. If anyone can help us with our hybrid problem, it’s her.”
Klaus: “So a hybrid walks into a bar, says to the bartender…”
Gloria: “Stop. You may be invincible, but that doesn’t make you funny.”“Gloria’s a very powerful witch.”
“Stefan, why don’t you go and fix us up a little something from behind the bar.”
Gloria: We’d have to contact the witch who created it [the hybrid curse].
Klaus: Well, that would be the original witch. She’s very dead.“Rebekah. Rebekah is a bit preoccupied.”
“I’m a little busy right now. Memory Lane will have to wait.”
[To Stefan]: “Let’s just say we didn’t get off to a brilliant start. To be honest, I hated you.”
“So this is the famous Stefan Salvatore. I’ve been hearing so much about. You’re right, he does have funny hair.”
“If you can’t handle it, then don’t ask.”
“Rebekah’s temper is worse than mine.”
“Time to wake up, little sister. Any day now, Rebekah. She’s being dramatic.”
[To Stefan]: “In fact, I learned some of my favorite tricks from you.”
“So Stefan, enlighten me. What makes you worthy of an original like my sister? She’s pure vampire and you’re no more than a diluted bloodline.”
Stefan: “Hmm. And where’sthe rest of your family?”
Klaus: “Well, let’s see. Um… I killed most of them.”[To Stefan]: “I was your number one fan.”
“You believe me now?”
Stefan: “Look what I found.1918. Single malt.
Klaus: “My favorite. Let’s go and find someone to pair it with.”Gloria: “Where’s Rebekah?”
Klaus: “She’ll be here. I can’t just conjure her on demand.”[To Stefan]: “My sister fancies you, you know. I should warn you, Rebekah doesn’t do anything half-speed, and that includes falling in love. So just be careful. She’s totally mad.”
“Don’t let your heart do anything stupid.”
“All good things must come to an end.”
“Rebekah! Come on, we’ve got to go, sweetheart.”
Klaus: “Stefan. I’m sorry, but the fun has to end here.”
Stefan: “What are you talking about?”
Klaus: “You must forget Rebekah and me. Until I say otherwise, you never knew us, Stefan. Thank you. I had forgotten what it was like to have a brother.”“Storytime’s over.”
[About Damon]: “I see they’ve opened the doors to the riff raff now.”
Klaus: “You don’t give up, do you?”
Damon: “Give me my brother back… You’ll never have to see me again.”
Klaus: “Well, I am torn. You see, I promised Stefan I wouldn’t let you die, but how many freebies did I really sign up for? And clearly you want to die, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, so…”[Stabs Damon]: “Oh, dear, what was that? I’m a little boozey, so you’ll forgive me if I miss your heart the first few tries.”
Damon: “You want a partner in crime? Take me. I’m so much more fun.”
Klaus: “You won’t be any fun after you’re dead.”“Rebekah… It’s your big brother. Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
[To Rebekah]: “Come on. We don’t have time for one of your tantrums.”
Klaus: “Don’t pout. You knew it wouldn’t kill me.”
Rebekah: “Yeah, but I was hoping it would hurt more.”
Klaus: “I understand that you’re upset with me, Rebekah… So I’m going to let that go. Just this once.”[To Stefan]: “Now you remember.”
[To Stefan]: “So much brooding. Your self-loathing is suffocating you, my friend.”
Klaus: “The important question is who am I. Please forgive the intrusion. My name is Klaus.”
Werewolf: “You’re the hybrid.”
Klaus: “You’ve heard of me. Fantastic.”“It’s fascinating, actually… A werewolf who isn’t beholden to the moon, a vampire who doesn’t burn in the sun. A true hybrid.”
“It’s the new order, sweetheart. You join us, or you die.”
Stefan: “So is this your master plan? Build an army of hybrid slaves?”
Klaus: “No, not slaves. Soldiers, comrades.”
Stefan: “For what war, might I ask?”
Klaus: “Oh, you don’t arm yourself after war has been declared, Stefan. You build your army so big that no one ever dares pick the fight.”
Stefan: “What makes you so sure that they’ll be loyal?”
Klaus: “Well, it’s not difficult to be loyal when you’re on the winning team. That’s something you’ll learn once you shake that horribly depressive chip off your shoulder.”“Careful, love. There’s only one Alpha here.”
“They went rabid. Some of them, I killed. The others just… Bled out. In the end… They’re all dead. I did everything I was told! I should be able
to turn them. I broke the curse. I killed a werewolf. I killed a vampire. I killed the doppelganger.”[To Stefan]: “It appears you’re the only comrade I have left.“
“I promise I`m not a serial killer.”
“If I have to make you tell me, it’s going to be infinitely more painful for you.”
“I love it when they run.”
“Kill this one quickly. Make that one suffer.”
“I’m something else. A different kind of monster. I’ve got some vampire, I’ve got some wolf… A hybrid… I’m both.”
“I want to create more of me.”
“You put on a good show, Stefan. I almost believe you. Let’s hope, for your brother’s sake, he does. You never stop caring about family, do you? But every time you feed, the blood makes it easier to let go.”
Elijah: “You’ve been busy.”
Klaus: “That was amazing. How long has it been?”
Elijah: “Almost 2 days. Full moon came and went. You remained a wolf.”
Klaus: “I can change at will, then. It’s good to know. I remember every single kill.”
Elijah: “Yes, I’ve been cleaning up your little mess along the way.”
Klaus: “Just like old times, brother.”
Elijah: “You’ve had your fun. I believe we have a bargain.”
Klaus: “That’s right. Now, what was it again? Oh, yeah. Wait. I remember. That’s it. You wish to be reunited with our family.”
Elijah: “You gave me your word, Niklaus.”
Klaus: “What kind of brother would break his bond? Even though you did try to kill me.”
Elijah: “I could have. But I didn’t.”
Klaus: “And now no one can, not even you. Relax, Elijah. All is forgiven.”
Elijah: “Where are they?”
Klaus: “You need to lighten up. I’ll bring you to them soon enough.”Klaus: “You just keep popping up, don’t you?”
Stefan: “I need your help… For my brother.”
Klaus: “Well, whatever it is, he’s gonna have to wait a tick. You see, I have an obligation to my brother that requires my immediate attention.”
Elijah: “You understand how important family is, or you wouldn’t be here. My brother gave me his word that he would reunite me with my own.”
Klaus: “And so I shall.”Stefan: “The witches said you had a cure. Make me a deal. Just give me the cure, and I’ll do whatever you want.”
Klaus: “Trouble is I don’t know if you’d be any good to me the way you are now. You are just shy of useless. I heard about this one vampire, crazy bloke, always on and off the wagon for decades. When he was off, he was magnificent. 1917, he went into Monterey and wiped out an entire migrant village… A true ripper. Sound familiar?”
Stefan: “I haven’t been that way in a very long time.”
Klaus: “Well, that’s the vampire I can make a deal with. That is the kind of talent that I can use when I leave this town.”Klaus: “You want your cure? There it is.”
Stefan: “Your blood is the cure.”
Klaus: “Gotta love mother nature.”Klaus: “There it is. You want to save your brother? How ’bout a decade-long bender? And I have big plans for you when we leave this town.”
Stefan: “I’m not like that anymore.”
Klaus: “Well, that’s too bad. You would have made a hell of a wingman.”
Stefan: “Wait.”
Klaus: “Now that’s more like it. I want you to join me for a drink. Finish it. All of it. You do everything I say, and I save your brother. That’s the deal. Again.”“It’s your choice, Stefan. You can either remain here living your life in Mystic Falls, or you can embrace what you truly are, leave town with me, and save your brother’s life.”
[To Elijah]: “As promised, brother, you’ve been reunited with our family.”
“I’ve been around a long time, Stefan. I rarely get played for a fool.”
[To Stefan]: “You see, I have a gift for you. Come here, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid. See, I wanna make sure you honor our deal… That you’ll be of use to me. I could have compelled her to behave, but a real ripper enjoys the hunt.”
“Hello, my lovelies. Are we ready?”
“I’ve got the moonstone. I spent 500 years looking for this. I hate to part with it.”
Klaus: “Well, well. I don’t recall you being on the guest list.”
Stefan: “I’m here to talk.”
Klaus: “Very well, then. What can I do for you, Mr. Salvatore?”Stefan: “You don’t need to kill Jenna. I’ll take her place.”
Klaus: “Oh, I don’t know. I rather appreciate the symmetry of three women, three goddesses sacrificed at nature’s altar.”[To Stefan]: “You’re quite the hero, aren’t you? Yeah, I’ve heard that about you.”
Elena: “I have to do something. This can’t happen. None of it.”
Klaus: “Quite the predicament. You know, it’s funny, all this talk about preserving family and here’s Stefan, granting your wish.”
Elena: “Stefan.”
Stefan: “It’s okay.”
Klaus: “Well who’s it gonna be, Elena?”
Elena: “No.”
Klaus: “Oh, don’t worry. There’s actually no choice.”
Elena: “No. Stefan. No.”
Klaus: “I have other plans for your boyfriend.I want him alive. But for now… Whenever you’re ready, Greta.”Klaus: “It’s time. Thank you, Elena.”
Elena: “Go to hell.”Klaus: “Elijah?”
Elijah: “Hello, brother. In the name of our family, Niklaus.”
Klaus: “I didn’t bury them at sea.”
Elijah: “What?”
Klaus: “Their bodies are safe. If you kill me, you’ll never find them.”
Stefan: “Elijah. Don’t listen to him.”
Klaus: “Elijah, I can take you to them. I give you my word, brother.”
Bonnie: “Do it and I’ll take you both out.”
Klaus: “You’ll die.”
Bonnie: “I don’t care.”
Klaus: “Brother.”
Elijah: “I’m sorry.”
Bonnie: “No.”
Stefan: “No.”
Klaus: “Gentlemen. Why so glum?”
Damon: “Klaus, I presume.”
Klaus: “In the flesh. [To Alaric] Thanks for the loaner, mate.”
Damon: “Any reason you stopped by to say hi?”
Klaus: “I’m told you and your brother fancy my doppelganger. Just thought I’d remind you not to try anything you’ll regret.”
Damon: “Thanks for the advice. I don’t suppose I could talk you into a postponement by any chance, huh?”
Klaus: “You are kidding. He’s kidding, right?”
Alaric: “No. Not really.”
Damon: “I mean, what’s one month in the grand scheme of things?”
Klaus: “Let me be clear. I have my vampire. I have my werewolf. I have everything I need. The ritual will happen tonight. So if you want to live to see tomorrow, don’t screw it up.”Katherine: “Everything okay?”
Klaus: “What have you been doing?”
Katherine: “Making coffee. Do you want some?”
Klaus: “Tell me what you’ve been doing.”
Katherine: “Making coffee.”
Klaus: “Wait. Take off your bracelet. Now. I want you to walk over to the window
and stand in the sunlight.”
Katherine: “But I’ll burn.”
Klaus: “You don’t have a choice… That’s enough. Hmm. Guess I was wrong. All right, then. I need you to do something for me.”Klaus: “You had me all nervous. I thought maybe you’d done something stupid. You ready, my dear?”
Elena: “I’m ready.”
Stefan: “No.”
Klaus: “I wouldn’t. No reason for you to die too.”Klaus: “I wasn’t aware you’d been invited in.”
Damon: “I’ve come to tell you to postpone the ritual.”
Klaus: “Didn’t we have this conversation?”
Damon: “Yeah but that was before I rescued your werewolf and vampire and killed your witch.”
Klaus: “Excuse me.”
Damon: “And you can kill me for it. I don’t care. It was all me.”
Klaus: “Katerina, give us a moment. I’ve heard about you. The crazy, impulsive vampire in love with his brother’s girl. I knew one of you would try to stop me. It was just a fifty-fifty guess on who. The nice thing about werewolves is they tend to travel in packs. Need a closer look?”
Damon: “Jules.”
Klaus: “When you spend a thousand years trying to break a curse you learn a thing or two. First rule: Always have a backup. Backup werewolf, backup witch…”
Damon: “Backup vampire.”
Klaus: “I’ve got that covered too.”
Katherine: “Where is he going?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “To retrieve me. So I can get out of this bad hairdo.”
Katherine: “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Klaus?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Well, the full moon is almost upon us. I’ve killed the witch, I have the moonstone and the doppelganger is waiting in the wings. I am ready to break this curse.”
Katherine: “And why would you do that here? There are so many that would try to stop you.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Because I have to. It’s the birthplace of the doppelganger.”
Katherine: “Didn’t realize that was a requirement.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “How could you? You betrayed me and fled England before I could give you the details, Katerina. But I did find your birthplace and I slaughtered your family so I guess we’re cool. Let’s just hope that Elena isn’t as stupid as you were.”
Katherine: “She won’t run. She’ll die before she lets anyone that she loves get hurt.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “And that’s exactly what I’m counting on.”Katherine: “So where is the mysterious host I have heard so much about?”
Elijah: “Fashionably late. He likes to make an entrance. Here he is. Katerina, may I introduce to you the Lord Niklaus.”
Klaus: “Niklaus is the name my father gave me. Please, call me Klaus.”Klaus: “From where have you come, Katerina?”
Katherine: “I am new to town, my lord.”
Elijah: “Katerina is from Bulgaria.”
Klaus: “Zdravei, Katerina”
Katherine: “Very good.”
Klaus: “Do you mind, brother? I would like to have a moment alone with her.”
Elijah: “No, not at all. Happy birthday, brother.”Klaus [as Alaric]: “You know, I find chopping calming. Feel of the blade in the hand maybe.”
Jenna: “I’m still waiting for someone to tell me what the hell’s going on.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Well, would you like to tell her, Stefan, or should I?”
Jenna: “Tell me what?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Do you believe in vampires, Jenna? No? Well, who does, right? But, believe it or not, they do have a place in our history. And, as a history teacher, I find them fascinating.”
Jenna: “Why are we talking about this?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “You’ve been angry with me for keeping secrets and this is one of my secrets. I’m obsessed with vampires. There, I said it.”
Jenna: “Are you joking?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Not at all. How about you, Stefan? Are you a fan of vampires?”
Stefan: “In literature. Bram Stoker.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “It’s dense but I appreciated it. Did you know that vampires are the oldest creatures of the night? Except for werewolves, of course.”
Jenna: “Werewolves?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Werewolves.”
Jenna: “Now I know you’re joking.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “You know, I’ve read that there’s an Aztec curse on both species that keeps werewolves slaves to the moon and vampires bound by the sun. Isn’t that right, Stefan? They say these creatures would do anything to have this curse broken. And that they wouldn’t care who they had to kill to do it.”Elijah: “Oh, look. A Roman parchment.”
Klaus: “I remember etching this scroll. I was quite blistered from drink.”
Elijah: “Your finest work remains your Aztec drawings.”
Klaus: “Not the African carvings? Because I was quite proud of those.”
Elijah: “The Aztec. Who can resist a shaman?”
Klaus: “Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes.”Klaus: “The full moon is tomorrow, brother. After all these centuries, it is finally time.”
Elijah: “I have been to see the witches. They believe they may have found a way to spare the doppelganger.”
Klaus: “What does it matter if she lives or not? She is a means to an end. That is all.”
Elijah: “But she should die for your gain?”
Klaus: “She is human. Her life means nothing.”
Elijah: “I beg you to consider this.”
Klaus: “Are you so foolish as to care for her?”
Elijah: “Of course not.”
Klaus: “Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness. And we are not weak, Elijah. We do not feel and we do not care.”
Elijah: “We did once.”
Klaus: “Too many lifetimes ago to matter. Tell the witches not to bother. The sacrifice will happen as planned.”Klaus: “What have you done?”
Elijah: “I don’t understand.”
Klaus: “Katerina is gone. She has fled.”
Elijah: “No.”
Klaus: “What did you tell her?”
Elijah: “I told her nothing.”
Klaus: “Do not lie to me!”
Elijah: “I will find her. You have my word.”
Klaus: “If you do not I give you my word. You will be dead.”“Now that’s more like it.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Ok, bad, or badder?”
Katherine: “The dark colors suit you better.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Oh, thank you, honey. Ok, pop quiz. The dagger and white ash are in the Salvatores possession, correct?”
Katherine: “The dagger was used to kill Elijah. You’ll find him in the basement of the Salvatore house.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Ok, that dagger needs to stay exactly where it is. The last thing I need to
do is resurrect Elijah. Ohh, that guy is a buzz kill.”Klaus [as Alaric]: “Oh, so jumpy.”
Katherine: “Please, just… kill me. I’ve told you everything that I know.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Hmm. You see, I believe that you believe that. But what would you not know?” What could they be keeping from you? “Hmm? Anything? Tell me.”
Katherine: “They were trying to see if Bonnie could find a way to kill an Original without a dagger.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Bonnie the best friend? And then you said she didn’t have her powers anymore.”
Katherine: “She doesn’t. Or didn’t. I don’t know. You kidnapped me, remember? I’m kinda out of the loop.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Well, we’ll have to get to the bottom of that.”Katherine: “Please, just kill me, Klaus, and be done with it.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “And show you kindness? I’ve searched for you for over 500 years. Your death is going to last at least half that long. I want you to take this knife… And stab yourself. Now take it out. Now while I’m gone, I want you to do that over and over and over again. And if you get bored, switch legs.”Katherine: “Where are you going?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “I’m gonna go lay eyes on my precious doppelganger. Oh, don’t look so glum, Katerina. The fun is just beginning.”Klaus [as Alaric]: “Hello, class. Ahem. What are we learning today?”
Dana: “With the decade dance tonight, we’ve been covering the sixties all week.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Right. The sixties. The, uh, ahem… The sixties. I wish there was something good I could say about the sixties, but… Actually, they kind of sucked. Except for the Beatles, of course. They made it bearable. Uh, what else was there? The Cuban missile thing, the… we walked on the moon. There was Watergate.”
Elena: “Watergate was the seventies, Ric. I-I mean, Mr. Saltzman.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Right. It all kind of mushes together up here, the sixties, seventies. Thank you, Elena.”Bonnie: “If you can find him, I can kill him.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “That’s not going to be that easy. I mean, he is the biggest, baddest vampire around.”strong>Klaus [as Alaric]: “Do you think this Alaric guy has anything vintage? Crossbows, wooden bullets and automatics? Who is this guy, again?”
Katherine: “He’s the local vampire hunter.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Ahh. Well, that explains the clothes.”
Maddox: “All I could find. Guy likes his bourbon.”
strong>Klaus [as Alaric]: “I knew there was something about him I liked.”Klaus [as Alaric]: “Special dedication, huh? This guy’s a little twisted.”
Damon: “I’m not impressed.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “No?”
Damon: “I mean, obviously he didn’t do anything out of whack.”Klaus [as Alaric]: “I just had to get away from that dance. The sixties, uchh. Not my decade. I mean, whose call was that, anyway? I much prefer the twenties. The style, the parties, the jazz.”
Elena: “Alaric. Are you on vervain?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Now why would you ask me that question, Elena?”
Elena: “He’s being compelled.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Nope. Try again.”
Bonnie: “What’s going on?”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Ok, I’ll give you a hint. I am not Alaric.”
Elena: “Klaus.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Surprise!”
Elena: “Oh, no. No, it’s not possible.”
Klaus [as Alaric]: “Just relax, Elena. I’m not here to hurt you. You’re not on my hit list tonight. But you are.”
[As Alaric] “Zdravei, Katerina. I’ve missed you.”
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